Cast of Characters

I live on the top floor of my apartment building and each neighbor has an interestingly distinguishable characteristic I have come to associate their apartment with. I haven't been able to pick up on everyone as these are only my observations from walking by closed doors, or in the case of my neighbors, what I hear through the wall.

1. My French neighbor: Early in the morning every day the TV is blaring the news from their unit. I can clearly hear the tv through my wall. They also have a squawking bird. This couple is very friendly in the halls when I bump into them but have annoying habits and pets behind closed doors.

2. My gay neighbor: One time laying in bed late on Wednesday I heard something through the wall that I never want to hear again: "Oh My God" being yelled in ecstasy by a man.

3. The nympho down the hall: On more than one occasion I have walked by this girl's apartment and heard moaning from behind the door. In fact, one time I was walking by her door and her boyfriend was leaving the apartment and saying goodbye. As I always do when an another apartment's door is open, I glanced inside as I continued walking by. There she was laying completely naked on the bed. And she saw me too. This has made for some awkward elevator rides.

4. The guy who picks up half of his newspaper every morning: A few doors down one guy gets a subsription to the Post. He will usually grab half of it in the morning and leave the other half laying in the hallway until later in the day when he picks up the rest of it. That or the janitor picks it up.

5. The narcoleptic: On the other side of the floor, nine times out of ten when I am waiting for the elevator, I can hear a beeping alarm clock coming from someone's unit. I am so glad this person is not my neighbor -- I have heard that alarm going off in the middle of the day, early in the morning, and late at night when waiting for the elevator.

6. The beer guy: Someone on my floor puts a down 6 pack every night. Evidence left is the empty bottles neatly placed back in the six pack and sitting by the trash chute.

7. The party girl: Again, fortunately, this person lives on the other side of the floor. Thursday, Friday, and Saturday nights usually mean loud music and lots of chattering voices from this apartment.